Monday, 4 July 2011

What happened?

When did our love for someone be measured in how much we do for them? It so often feels like we need to DO something for the people we love the most, in order for them to know we love them. I can understand that I am a people pleaser, but when did the little things I like to do, the little thoughtful bits and pieces throughout each day, become how my love is measured?

I make my husband lunch every day, for example. Is it because I want him to feel loved? Furthermore, does my husband need his wife to make his lunch, in order for him to feel the love she has for him? It's an interesting thought to think. You can't measure an emotion. When did we start trying?

When did love become not enough?

'Can you not feel my adoration of you?'  I seem to need to put myself out, inconvenience myself to prove my love for other people. I also feel that others need to see my tiring actions to ensure that I do, in fact, love them.

This is the most idiotic thing I think I have ever let happen.

The fact is, I started making my husband his lunch every day because I appreciate that he works hard, and I would like to show my appreciation by making sure he eats a nice lunch. I can have that appreciation for anyone, though. I could make a hundred lunches and deliver them to firemen and policemen, because I appreciate them too. Surely they wouldn't think I love them all.

I love my husband. I love my family. I am going to start showing my love in other ways... saying it, perhaps, feeling it more.

I think that I will be able to love them more, if I am not inconvenienced every single time I feel I have to show it. I don't think I'm very honest about my emotions.

And you know what? I think it's time I lead by example, and stop measuring other people's love in how much they do for me.

This is how i will lovingly detach from the people who need it most. Give them less of my time and energy, and give them more of my love.

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