Yes. I suppose alcohol has made my life unmanageable. I'm not sure when that person's alcoholism started effecting me, making me this crazy, but I know I'm crazy enough to need help. I'm having a hard time looking back, trying to find exactly where I let sanity go; When did I let the standards of how a wife should be treated slip so low? When did I allow my ideals of marriage to be changed so I could rationalize staying with him. Furthermore, how I can trust my own self anymore? Are my wants really things that are in my best interest? Are the things I long for still healthy to want?
Maybe all I can do is work on myself for myself, and the way will be made clear.