Back to 1.

I knew something was coming. I felt it. I even said 'Every time we build trust, something happens and its gone'

Something happened.

What do i do now that I have the information? I feel like I'm back to step one. I choked the step out at the meeting tonight. I feel so sad and upset, and angered by the thought that the months I have spent working my way up the steps seems to have been wasted time, since I apparently can't grasp that I can't control things.

I'm sad, and disheartened. Maybe its a lesson in having expectations of others. Is there ever an instance where you can learn this lesson and not be left angry, bitter and lonely? perhaps not.