Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Could it be?

I've spent a large part of the last couple weeks picking my character apart. Seeing myself and my actions as they really are. After a meeting last week, I realized that these were 'defects of character' outlined in step 4.

WAIT

This whole time I've been worried about how to progress through step 3. How exactly to relinquish control to another power. And now I'm all of a sudden working step 4. Could it be that the programs works when you're not intending it to? Could I have already relinquished control of my life without knowing it? Could it be all my work is paying off? Or, possibly, did I skip step 3. Am I still holding on to that control, hoping I can make progress without working step 3.

I suppose time will tell for certain.

For now, I need to work on compassion for my alcoholic. I must delve into AA meetings, for surely, mine isn't the worst.. is he?

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